Secondary Protocol
by DarkAngelOne

i don't remember,
what happened last night.
but no one wants to look at me.
my clothes are in the corner,
covered in blood.
someone got me a pair of jeans(?)
why can't i remember,
and why will no one say?
bits and pieces,
bounce around in my head,
i feel like i'm in a daze.

i'm not hit,
but i'm in pain.
i remember we were spinning.
taking hits all the way down.
every time i think about it,
i get sick,
from everything spinning around.
we lost the tail,
everything happened so fast.
an RPG hit the rudder,
the nose rose straight up,
but the pilot got us back.
we went into a spin,
and went down so fast.
i keep hearing this voice screaming.
who is that screaming ?
i don't recognize the voice,
screaming in my head.
begging, pleading
i don't understand what he said.

i remember i was at the door,
on the "60",
clearing a hole before we hit,
taking out as many as i could,
the possibility never occurred to me,
i may not live.
i remember looking back,
just before we hit.
everyone was looking through me,
as though i didn't exist.
all of a sudden,
a deafening sound,
and i was launched into the air,
and falling to the ground.
i remember picking-up my weapon,
and looking all around.
some of the ones i hit from the air,
were littered here and there,
the "60" didn't leave much for cover,
and more enemy would soon be here.

i couldn't remember my objective.
i wanted to stay put,
'til i could clear my head,
but protocol requires evasion,
of all of those who live.
we'll meet back up
a couple of "clicks" back
and make a decision as a team.
i wonder if anyone else,
survived the crash.
right now it's only me.
what were we doing out here?
i can't remember anything
before the RPG.
something really bad went down...
the way they were all looking at me.
were we headed to
or from our objective?
did we make it
to where we're supposed to be?
all i know,
is i hope we're close.
there's a safe house we're going to need.

the chopper crew
didn't make it.

they fought it all the way in,
and gave their lives for us.
they took the major part of the impact,
and the front had all been crushed.
why can't i remember ,
what we came in here to do?
where did all this blood come from?
and why is my mind,
concealing from me, the truth?
i'm already planning,
how i'll go back in,
so i can bring back out the crew.
i don't even know if i'm all that's left,
but it's still something i'll have to do.
who is that
screaming in my head?!
why can't i understand,
(and yet i understand)
the words he says?
where's the team,
can they all be dead?
i was on the radio....
but what was said?
why was i on the radio?
that's something we never do?
i was sending out the "mayday",
but there was something more, too.
the more i think about it,
the more i get confused.

two more guys made it back,
then we heard gunfire at the crash.
SKS and M-16's,
said our guys were still alive.
we grabbed our weapons,
without a word,
and got back in the fight.
"six" got hit,
and i carried him out,
but he's going to be alright.
we buried the crew,
just over the ridge,
just before morning light
we hid all day,
and got some sleep.
everyone but me.
every time i'd close my eyes....
someone in my head would scream.

we didn't have
too far to go.
as we crept through the town the next night.
going to the safe house without the crew,
was one of my hardest nights.
we gave chase,
when they tried to get away,
and left no one living from the site.
it's these things we never speak of,
to make our world alright.

what was said on the radio,
before we crashed to the ground that night?
what did "BlackEye" tell me was authorized,
when i asked to confirm a "greenlight"?
what was my objective?
a week had already passed by.
"six" is healing well,
be ready to move again soon.
we were relaxing and talking
when the liaison came into the room.
he told me
he had been investigating a situation,
when we got hit by that RPG.
there were 2 rounds missing from my "45",
and it all came flooding back to me....

i had to terminate my objectives,
just before we crashed.
and could not risk that they'd go free.
"secondary protocol" was authorized.
the light was green.

dear God,
how will i ever go back home,
and carry this with me?
is this what i must become,
to defeat this enemy?
why does saving the lives of others,
require me,
to take so many away?
how will i keep this from them,
without it showing on my face?
and that sound
that i heard as we crashed,
was that the closing of the gate?

for the first time,
the team saw me cry.
i took my bloodied clothes,
and buried them on the hillside.
i spent a lot of time alone,
but still couldn't understand why.
i tried to talk to God,
but there was nothing i could say.
i think i was supposed to die in the crash,
when suddenly,
they closed the gate.
and i remember having this feeling,
that for this one,
i was really going to have to pay.

the team was glad to find,
i was authorized to do what i did.
they didn't have a clue,
what "BlackEye" told me,
and didn't know what to make of it.
they all thanked me for doing,
what no one else would want to do,
but yet had to be done.
command reviewed the incident,
and cleared me of any wrong.
"valor and composure in battle"
is what the citation would read....

but the price i would have to pay,

made it all mean nothing to me.

Copyright © 2007 - DarkAngelOne
Published: 12/13/07   ·  Author's Page   ·  Next Poem